My Current One and Only White Hair

Closeup of a black-haird woman's face and her hand holding a strand of grey hair.

By: Giselle General

It was February 2020 and I was excited to do my bi-annual ritual with my hair. I let it grow for close to 24 months and I cut a large chunk of it to donate for charitable causes that make free wigs for kids with cancer. Usually I alternate between Hair Massacure or Angel Hair Foundation. It’s something I have been doing since March 2009.

This time around, I got assistance in cutting my hair and shaving my head so I have a smooth and even buzz cut. My brother who was living with me at the time agreed to help, maybe reluctantly because little brothers can’t refuse their Ate (big sister) when they ask for sometime, haha! It was pretty messy, and pretty fun. He was so scared at first to use the scissors to cut the little pony tails of hair I tied, but I told him to just hold his hand steady and it will be fine. Then, it was time to bring out the clippers! It was a the lowest setting, number 1, so what was left in my head is likely the same length of hair that most men have when they don’t shave for a day. He told me a few times to tilt my head this way and that way, and hold me earlobes flat, so that the clippers cover every part of my scalp. He did an amazing job.

A week later, I was in the office washroom when I notice something unusual on the top of my head. My hair is going through its “chipmunk phase” so it was sticking up and ready to poke you! But I saw that there was one particular spot where the little half-centimeter of hair didn’t look the same as all my other hair. It was lighter colored! I thought it was a piece of dirt, or somehow soap or shampoo got stuck – although I thought that didn’t much sense.

Then March 2020 rolls around and by then I had at least half an inch of hair. And it’s confirmed, it is a single strand of white hair, growing from the root! I posted about it on Facebook my feelings a mixture of amazement and disbelief, since at this time I was 29 years old. My great aunt living in Australia said some nice words about the white hair being a symbol of age and wisdom. I really appreciated it.

I’m not exactly outraged of panicked about it. I’m more amused really. And I challenged myself to try to keep that single strand for as long as possible, so not pulling it out either manually or when I comb or brush my hair.

And then the pandemic hit. As I mostly worked from home for months on end, I’d see this single strand of silver whenever I comb my hair and part it a little to the left. Inch by inch, my buzz turned into a pixie, then a bob, then shoulder length and now it is past my shoulders again.

Now it is January 2022. I’m preparing to shave my head and donate my hair to any of these organizations if they are still around and accepting natural hair donations. I wonder what surprises my scalp will bring up. Will I have a few more grey hairs that will pop up from the root? Will that be the physical manifestation of the stress from the past year, not just from COVID and the state of the world, but from the election I ran for recently?

It’s been remarkable to finally see changes that are related to aging. With a bit of dread and also curiosity, I acknowledge that menopause will be here before realizing what hit me!

Book Review And Thank You Letter: The Midnight Library by Matt Haig

A library shelf with various books, and in the middle displayed the front page of "The Midnight Library" by Matt Haig

By: Giselle General

My workplace organizes an opt-in Secret Santa every year, and I participate every year. This time, I received a book as a gift, which is perfect for the holiday break that we get from Christmas Eve to New Year’s Day, usually with an extra day or two. This is a Thank You Letter and a book review to my office Secret Santa, whose identity I still don’t know!


December 29, 2021

Dear work Secret Santa,

I don’t have investigative skills at all, so I will likely never know who you are. Also, over the past seven years at our workplace, I’ve only know for sure who my Secret Santa is just one time. The other time, I had a hunch but was never confirmed. All I know, given your handwritten  note on the card, is that you are either part of the office’s Book Club, or know someone who is.

I finished reading The Midnight Library by Matt Haig during the holiday break, over the course of a few days between Christmas Eve (our first day off from work) and Boxing Day.

Also, bonus points for wrapping the book using a Christmas themed fabric drawstring bag! I love it and I promise it will be re-used for many further occasions.

Anyways, back to the book. This is the first time I’ve read a book by this author, so I was going in blind. Aside from the short summary on the cover, I tried hard to not give myself spoilers from reading reviews online. The plot is really interesting, and very relevant to what I imagine is what a lot of people are feeling these days. The exhaustion and discouragement from feeling that one’s life have been full of regret or decisions will less-than-ideal outcomes. The resentment that might come up from one’s current circumstances, made worse by feeling trapped and unable to do enough to change things. Nora, the main character, decides to kill herself shortly after a neighbour tells her that her cat had died, after an already rough day from getting fired from her job and running into her old bandmate who tells Nora that her brother is unwell. Thinking and truly believing that “it is a good day to die” emphasizes disillusionment from feeling worthless and wanting the pain to end.

I am personally fond of libraries; they were literally a lifesaver for me growing up. So, the young Nora having fond memories of her school library was lovely, as well as her relationship with the librarian, Ms. Elm. Our own mind and memories work in interesting ways, so when the adult Nora overdoses on her medication and was taken to a mystical place where she can live different versions of her lives, it made sense to me that it looked like a library and that her “spiritual guide” was in the form of a familiar, kind person in her life, Ms. Elm.

The library has a “Book of Regrets” and countless books of different versions of lives to live. If Nora felt that she wanted to live that life permanently, she will be able to do so. But many times, feelings of discomfort, regret and discontent arises which would then take her back to the Midnight Library. As Nora went through various versions of what her life might have been, she slowly shakes off the feeling of needing to live the way that fulfills other people’s expectations. She also learned a harsh and true lesson, you can make choices, but you cannot predict outcomes.  This was a difficult one for Nora, because in some of the alternate lives she had chosen, either her friend, brother or someone else gets harmed and dies. In one of our alternate lives, she met a fellow “wanderer” who helped her understand the concept of what they are going through from a metaphysical standpoint.

Nora finally decides to return to her “root life”, the current life she was living in (and at the moment, her body is dying from the medical overdose), with a newfound sense of purpose, contentment, and determination to make some decision actions to make her present life better. I am particularly thrilled to learn that the actual Mrs. Elm was alive, and that the book ends with Nora and Mrs. Elm playing chess in the retirement home.

I know I took a break from the office book club, but if I re-join in the new year, maybe I’ll suggest this book. At least I already have a copy that I can lend to our co-workers!

Thank you again for the gift and for believing that this is a good choice for me. I do recommend others to read it also!  

Book Review and Thank You Letter: Motherless Daughters, The Legacy Of Loss: by Hope Edelman

By: Giselle General

In an attempt to fill the gaps in support and knowledge from my ongoing therapy, I was seeking out additional resources to help with dealing with the pain and loss of being an orphan. While my therapist wasn’t able to point me to an local support group, I found an adequate starting point.

I just finished reading the book Motherless Daughters, The Legacy Of Loss: by Hope Edelman. This is a Thank You Letter and a book review for the person who recommended this book, a remarkable woman in Edmonton named Mimi.


November 29 2021,

Dear Mimi,

Thank you for your lovely invitation to go out for lunch a few weeks after the outcome of the Edmonton Municipal Election last October 18. It was wonderful to chat with someone who experienced many of the things I have as a first-time elections candidate, as someone who is a person of color, and a woman. You shared many stories and insights that will help me as I go through my emotional recovery after not winning this election.

On top of the political commentary and stories, you kindly asked important questions about one challenging reality I have, as someone who doesn’t have a mother figure in my current life, and as someone who hasn’t had such a person for a very long time.

If my memory served me right, you actually haven’t read the book yourself, but you shared to me that Motherless Daughters was a book recommended to you a while back. I believe you said that you’re not the self-help-book-type. I was overjoyed though, since self-help is a book category I read on regular basis. Thank goodness an E-book version was available through the Edmonton Public Library, and I started reading in on nights and weekends when I have spare time.

The book was written and researched by a woman whose mother died when she was young, a teenager, and it involved numerous interviews and questionnaires from other “motherless daughters“. I liked how the book chapters outlined concepts bases on topic, such as navigating womanhood, romance, family, motivation and self-worth as a motherless daughter.

My favourite was how the book outlined key differences in terms of impact, depending on the child’s age when the mother passed away. I was eight when my mother died, together with my father and sister. Old enough to remember who they are and to know that life will never be the same after the deaths. Too young to do basic household management functions on my own. Too ill-equipped to grieve but not immune to the need of it.

It was a tough read, where every paragraph hitting me hard, shedding a light in very dark corners of my scarred soul, revealing wounds that never really completely healed. Especially in the first five chapters, it felt like every third paragraph made me cry, the vision of a child in her brokenness that was never acknowledged, and was just hidden away for so long. The stories of the other women and the commentary from doctors and the referenced resources, are both haunting and illuminating.

While distressing and unfortunate, I learned that it is actually normal for people to freak out when they reach the age of death of their same-gender parent. I thought that being fatalistic, catastrophising is a unique issue I am having due to election stress. Seriously, for the last six months before the election day my mind was telling me relentlessly “If I lose in this election, I have three years left to prove my worth. If I am not able to accomplish something profound and remarkable, my mother’s sacrifice was worthless. I don’t deserve to outlive her, and ending my life then is the right course of action.” I cannot rationalize it then, but yes, I was measuring my life and worth based on a very specific number, 33 years of age.

Now, there is huge comfort from realizing that this is a common occurrence. That subconsciously, people can be neglectful about their lives, or in the case of those whose mothers died of suicide or addictions, the adult “motherless daughter” ends up replicating those behaviours. It comes from wanting to grasp any way to find a connection with the mother that died too soon. So this is something I have to seriously watch for between now and 2024, that I don’t harm or kill myself, either by suicide or self-sabotaging my wellbeing.

Chapters of the book outlined how motherless daughters like me are stunted in our development, pushed to maturity and independence too early in some ways. But we are also stuck in childlike tendencies and yearnings in other ways. Instead of feeling inferior, I felt liberated by this. This paved another path of acceptance, and also pride, that my childlike mindset has not affected my adult life in debilitating ways.

For me, knowledge is power. I imagine it comes from my need for control from needing to look after myself (and my brother) at such a young age. I cannot describe how relived I am in realizing a few things:

  • That I will likely grieve again, in cycles and waves, for the rest of my life. When I reach womanly milestones, I would then yearn for a mother’s presence and guidance. Like during my first period, potential pregnancy and childbirth, menopause, even being a widow, financial and career changes, and many more.
  • A few time and age-related stages will be particularly difficult, such as reaching the age my mother died (which for me is in three years), giving birth, and when my child/ren reaches my age when my mother died, which is eight years old.

This is a huge blessing that came at a perfect time. Did you know that just a few weeks ago, during my therapy session right after the election, that I told the doctor that I need a very specific support group for people like me? He was sympathetic and understanding but the referrals provided were too broad for what I am seeking. This is the next closest thing to a support group and it worked really well as a starting point. I’m super grateful for the recommendation, as this has officially marked another journey of my healing from trauma, unpacking the fallout of being an orphan.

End of the Journey of a First-Time Councillor Candidate: Repost from the Alberta Filipino Journal

Giselle outdoors in a neighbourhood holding her election flyer

By: Giselle General

Introduction: This is a re-posting of the articles I have written about my journey as an candidate for the 2021 Edmonton Municipal Elections. Politics and political participation in Edmonton will be a topic I would like to discuss on an ongoing basis, now that I had this experience. But since at this point, it has only been a month Election Day where I only got second place, I am still processing my emotions, compiling documents, and reflecting on everything I have observed and learned.

This was the third article, submitted on November 2021, but was written just two weeks after the election day. You can get a free copy of the paper, published monthly, from many Filipino-owned businesses in Edmonton. You can also everything digitally at: https://www.albertafilipinojournal.com/


The election is over for the municipal elections and I wasn’t successful in my campaign to be city councillor for the city. I came second place. Here is my preliminary reflection of the end of this journey.

Relief in safety and campaign principles

I was determined to run the campaign by following very important principles. These are: positivity, transparency, inclusiveness, collaboration, and care for community. As a result, some of the tasks in the campaign took extra time, such as properly preparing maps for volunteers, calculating fundraising numbers for the weekly social media posts, or adding subtitles to all videos for the benefit of people who are deaf. With that said, both during and after the elections, people have messaged me expressing their appreciation for my thoughtfulness. My actions made the election informative for the average person, and people from the disabled community appreciated that I went above and beyond to ensure they can access the digital content that I published.

Another key component in my campaign is safety, given the reality of COVID19 and additional risk due to Anti-Asian Racism. Many times, I played it safe by avoiding entering  homes with tall gates, not door-knocking alone, and being careful when walking through uneven landscaping and front steps. While other campaigns were door-knocking as early as March, but I waited and observed closely the COVID numbers and the impact of changes in the rules. Sure, it meant I didn’t go to as many homes, but I’m glad that throughout the campaign, I didn’t get seriously ill or injured.

Anguish at missing the goal and systemic hurdles

Just like most people in the world who are ambitious and competitive, not winning definitely hurts for me. On top of that, I felt the weight and pressure of my endeavour, as the only Filipino candidate in the entire city for any municipal seat, after the other candidate withdrew. I definitely would have been great if I achieved this important milestone for the community. My heartbreak at not winning is not just for me, it’s for the entire community.

The optimistic side of me dismissed the idea that money plays a huge role in campaigns, but seeing it firsthand gave me a wake-up call. While I’m confident that I did everything I could to have a well-run campaign, it came to a point where certain gaps can only be filled by additional funds or additional people helping. With this realization in mind, I know what I will advocate for moving forward to help those like me with passion and drive to make positive changes in government, and need just a bit more resources to be successful.

Marvel at the support, outcome, and generosity

Since I don’t have in-depth experience that seasoned politically-engaged people have, I don’t have context of the election outcome. All I know is I didn’t get enough votes and I lost. The cool thing is that many days after the election I received messages of kind words and

As it turns out, getting 5000+ votes is a remarkable accomplishment for a first time candidate, and for a budget that I have it is impressive. I am very grateful to those who have supported the campaign, from the donations, those who made time to volunteer consistently, those who gave advice.

Drive moving forward

One thing I want to make clear is that this is the end of the journey of being a first-time candidate, and not the end of the community involvement journey, and likely not the end of the political journey. If you think about it, if I run for public office, I will be a second-time candidate, with a better understanding of processes, and the unspoken rules of the political world. In the meantime, my focus is to resume all my community service activities that I am already doing to make our city better for everyone.

Update on the Journey of a First-Time Councillor Candidate – Repost from the Alberta Filipino Journal

Giselle wearing a blue top and white blazer outside in a park in Edmonton

By: Giselle General

Introduction: This is a re-posting of the articles I have written about my journey as an candidate for the 2021 Edmonton Municipal Elections. Politics and political participation in Edmonton will be a topic I would like to discuss on an ongoing basis, now that I had this experience. But since at this point, it has only been a month Election Day where I only got second place, I am still processing my emotions, compiling documents, and reflecting on everything I have observed and learned.

This was the second article, submitted on September 2021. You can get a free copy of the paper, published monthly, from many Filipino-owned businesses in Edmonton. You can also everything digitally at: https://www.albertafilipinojournal.com/


My journey of being a first-time candidate for Edmonton City Council is coming to an end on October 18, Election Day! Here my reflection of the journey of being right in the front lines of a campaign.

It is much harder than anticipated. When I first told my brother that I am running, he was scared for my safety! It made sense, given how dangerous it is to run for public office in the Philippines. I reassured him that I likely won’t get murdered here, win or lose. But that doesn’t mean that there are no dangers. As a visibly Asian woman, the risk of racists attacking me is a possibility, given the rise of Anti-Asian Hate due to COVID. There are even practical dangers, as well; many people’s stairs, entryways and landscaping are not always stable, so a slip and fall is a risk when going to thousands of homes.

The harsh reality that it takes money and connections to run for public office became evident. Expenses line up really quickly. I am running against the current councillor, who spent $84,000 in her campaign in 2017. I wondered, how can I even match that? Advertising in bus shelters are at least $1,000, billboards start at $1,500. I spent $2,500 earlier this year for flyers and $3,500 on lawn signs, as name recognition is paramount to being successful.

I see many candidates who get a lot of help, in terms of time, money, and connections, from their parents, and my heart breaks into a thousand pieces every time. It’s a painful reminder of losing my parents too soon. I tearfully wondered every time, in what way would they have helped if they are still alive? Would my parents be proud? Think their daughter is crazy for being this ambitious?

COVID is a mixed blessing when it comes to attending events and activities. Typically, in an election campaign, there is a lot of traveling involved for meetings and gatherings, and it would have taken so much time while taking public transit, or I would need to spend a lot of money taking taxis, or a lot of stress arranging rides from other people. The switch to digital for many meetings and tasks proved to be helpful.

This campaign journey is also quite incredible in many ways that continue to uplift me. As of writing this, I got $17,000 worth of donations, money sent through e-transfers and online payments as well as in-kind donations, it’s just remarkable. For many weekends in the spring and summer, people joined me in delivering flyers to neighbourhoods so I don’t have to spend money on postage. Professionals shared their skills voluntarily, from websites design, graphic design, translating my flyers, mapping routes, strategy, and more!

Another remarkable thing is connecting with people who are not within my immediate network, those who, after researching all the candidates, discovered that I have what it takes to be their next Edmonton City Councillor.

This experience opened my eyes to the simple and complex reasons why our political system is the way it is right now. I really wish that for immigrants, women, and working-class people, that running for politics is not this cumbersome. After the election this is something that I want to address, by finding a way to share all the lessons learned from this campaign journey.

This election candidacy is a journey five years in the making. I hope that by October 18, that history can be made for the sake of the Filipino community in Edmonton and in Alberta, that I can be the first Filipina-Canadian councillor that Edmonton would have.

The Journey of a First-Time Elections Candidate – Repost from Alberta Filipino Journal

Woman in business suit standing in front of the entrance of Edmonton City Hall Council Chambers.

By: Giselle General

Introduction: This is a re-posting of the articles I have written about my journey as an candidate for the 2021 Edmonton Municipal Elections. Politics and political participation in Edmonton will be a topic I would like to discuss on an ongoing basis, now that I had this experience. But since at this point, it has only been a month Election Day where I only got second place, I am still processing my emotions, compiling documents, and reflecting on everything I have observed and learned.

This is the first article, submitted on April 2021. You can get a free copy of the paper, published monthly, from many Filipino-owned businesses in Edmonton. You can also everything digitally at: https://www.albertafilipinojournal.com/


This election candidacy is a journey five years in the making.  Here is a reflection on my experiences as of this date as someone running for the first time.

A main challenge is informing people on different topics. There are many issues that affect our daily lives, and it can be difficult to remember which level of government is responsible. On top of that, there are issues that are a shared responsibility between the municipal, provincial and federal government. So it is important for me, my campaign team, and other candidates to be informed and patient when discussing with others/   

The electoral district boundaries not only changed in composition, but also the names have changed. They are changed from numbers to Indigenous names. I think the names are beautiful and meaningful, but many are frustrated and unwilling to learn. I can personally attest that all it takes is practice, just like learning Asian geography back in high school. After a few rounds of practice, I can confidently say without missing a beat that “I am running for city councillor for West Edmonton, the ward of sipiwiyiniwak!” Those in ward Dene and O-day’min will have an easier time, while those in ward Ipiihkoohkanipiaohtsi would need to practice a few more times.  

I found out that apartments and condo buildings are usually ignored by campaign teams. I found this shocking and unacceptable! Because most apartment buildings are rentals, this means that many people who are not homeowners and from lower economic background are not given the same opportunity by election candidates to share their thoughts about political matters. No wonder the voter turnout in municipal elections is only 30%. Like a spark that ignited in me, I felt a fierce sense of determination to go against the tide and find ways to connect with people living in higher-density places. I hope that landlords and building managers would cooperate with my campaign team so we can engage with residents effectively and safely.  

A harsh and true advice I received was “you need a lot of money”. And I don’t have a lot. I feel motivated to find creative ways to compensate for the shortage of money, and fun ways to raise money and support. From virtual dance-a-thons as a fundraiser, using social media for marketing instead of spending money on billboards, and asking volunteers to drop off brochures instead of paying Canada post thousands of dollars, the ideas seem to be endless. Necessity is the mother of invention as they say, and I’m excited to find innovative ways to connect with potential voters and supporters. I hope that I get hundreds of volunteers from all walks of life, and that even those who cannot vote yet, the newcomers and under 18 years old, feel inclined to join the campaign team as well.  

The election day is in October, and given how time feels like it’s slipping through our fingers, it will be here before we even realize it. All the spare time I have, between breakfast and starting work, between dinner and bedtime, between laundry and cooking on the weekends, are occupied by the seemingly endless tasks to gain more resources, to recruiting volunteers, to ensuring we consult with people with different perspective. Door-knocking officially starts in May and I’m eagerly looking at the calendar counting down the time.  

I am excited to be transformed by this experience. I suppose, turning 30 years old this year also highlights the significance of this adventure. I’d love to win of course, but it’s more that that. My hope is that I am just one of the many people from under-represented backgrounds, of the women, the young adults, the migrants and the Filipinos who would take the leap and throw their name in an election race. I hope that my experience can serve as inspiration and a resource guide in navigating an election candidacy that appropriately considers the complications that arise from our lived experiences. If I don’t end up being that trailblazer, I hope that someone else does not too long after I run.  

Blog on Hiatus – Giselle is Running for Public Office in Edmonton!

Woman in business suit standing in front of the entrance of Edmonton City Hall Council Chambers.

Exciting news!

I will be taking a break from posting regular content on the blog. 2021 is a hectic year as I pursue an adventure that is new in a sense (because this is the year of making it into reality) but at the same time, is half a decade in the making.

I am running for public office, for the City of Edmonton’s municipal elections, as a city councilor candidate for the district I live in, which is ward sipiwiyiniwak in West Edmonton, the current Ward 5 that with additional neighbourhoods from Ward 1 captured as well. The pronouncination is like this: silent yi, as in see-pee-wee-nee-wak. The campaign website is here! https://www.gisellegeneral.ca/

So is this website going to be the campaign page? No. It’s just that there may be longer breaks between posts. I might post a blog or two in case I decide to procrastinate (haha!) but it will be less frequently than what I do now.

Where’s the campaign information? Right now? It’s not ready. Once it’s ready, they will be posted here. However, on my personal Twitter account https://twitter.com/gisellegeneral I am posting personal perspectives on the campaign trail so far. Once the campaign accounts (both website and social media) are set up, I will post more content about policy and platforms.

How are you feeling? So far, overall okay. There are stressful, isolating, overwhelming moments yes, but so far, most things are figure-outable if you know what I mean. Part of my goal is to demystify the campaign process for the average Edmontonian, to showcase what it takes. I want to show the trials and tribulations of being a first-time candidate, in order to inspire participation from my fellow average Edmontonians, to inspire my fellow Filipinos to care a bit more about municipal politics, and smash some glass ceilings along the way and bring forward perspectives that seem to be typically overlooked when it comes to polity. It would be nice to be the first Filipino-Canadian city councilor in Edmonton, or at least someone considered a very strong candidate who aimed to reach that goal as hard as possible. I am running against the incumbent again, which is consider an additional, usually insurmountable obstacle, but as Barney Stinson says in the show How I Met Your Mother, “Challenge Accepted!”

I hope that the articles I posted here in the past are helpful or entertaining. And if you live in Edmonton, I hope to see you on the campaign trail – mostly electronically because you know, it’s still a pandemic.

Storytelling time: My First and Scariest Winter Slip-And-Fall Incident


By: Giselle General

So this happened during my first winter here in Edmonton, back in 2008. There’s a lot of things to learn and navigate and get used to. I learned that winter looks and feels different in different provinces. Things are starting to settle after moving here in July. I have a stable retail job, and I’m earning enough money at the time, I started dating someone who I fondly called my first Canadian boyfriend. And I am navigating all the different schedules and routines I need to do so I can go to the two schools I’m attending which is the University of Alberta and also McEwan University which was called at the time Grant McEwan College.

I worked the closing shift in the retail store where I was working, which is Future Shop at the Terra Losa business centre. It is located on 95th Ave and 172nd St and commuting in the evening was tricky at the time. You have two choices: be lucky and take the bus that is coming along less frequently from the area to the mall and then catch the bus from the mall to our house on the West End. Or if there are no longer buses that are passing through the business centre , take a 25 to 30 minute walk from the store to West Edmonton Mall, through the mall, to the transit station along 87th Ave. This walk is actually nice and refreshing most of the time, especially in the fall or spring or summer months. But winter is a whole different ball game.

Concrete parking lot covered in ice.
This is how the parking lot was like in terms of icyness, but at night!

You see, at the back of this giant mall, West Edmonton Mall, there’s an overflow parking lot along 90th Ave where people can park their cars if the multi level parking areas all around the mall are too full. Essentially I’d walk through a residential neighborhood , walk through that parking lot, cross to into the mall, walk through the mall, and then get out on the side of the mall where the transit station is.

The thing is in the winter, this parking lot is like a giant, giant ice rink. The reality is, if lots of snow falls into the ground and if left untouched by snowplows, trucks or snowblowers, that pile of snow – however many inches it is – it gets packed down. Then, if in a couple of occasions the weather gets warmer the surface layer of the snow melts a little bit and it becomes ice and that can happen over and over. Cars would not have a difficult time navigating the parking lot because they have tires. It might be a bit slippery driving around but that’s pretty much it. However for people on their feet it gets a bit more tricky.

That night, I decided to walk from my workplace to the mall because it was a night that is not too cold so I thought I can handle it. I’m still dressed for the weather though, I have my nice long winter coat that we bought not too long ago from Winners , and I have this really nice and warm knitted hat that I got from my cousin’s and aunt’s place in Ontario. It’s really thick, thicker than most hats. And it is really cozy with a nice little flower knitted on the brim.

Woman wearing a black winter jacket, multi color scarf and white knitted hat with a yellow knitted flower.

As I left the residential area of Summerlea, passing through the playground and entered the parking lot I realize I’m in big trouble. There are hardly any cars around, there’s the very faint light from the street light switch was not helpful in helping me identify where is a section of the parking lot that is the least icy. You know, how you can usually differentiate between the really really slick shininess of an icy sidewalk and the pathway where it’s just snow that is a little bit bunched up but you might have more traction. That night was not my lucky night.

So I did the only thing I can do . I started walking baby steps, little tiny steps to get as close and to get across as quickly as possible. Here’s the tricky thing. I am very aware what time the bus I’m taking will be departing, 9:58 PM. If I do not catch the bus, since it’s already almost 10:00 PM, I need to wait one full hour for the other bus before I can get home. So I’m conflicted! I need to walk slowly because it’s so icy and scary but at the same time I have this bus I need to catch . I’m so happy that there’s no one else in that parking lot because every three steps I would slip a little bit and scream!

I was about halfway through when, I suppose, my balance was a little bit off, because I slipped and fell forwards. I was really afraid I’m gonna slam my face onto the icy pavement. However because my hat was a lot thicker than most hats I actually had a cushion. I did fall face first, but it was my forehead that hit on the ground. I was lying there in shock for a second or two . And I realized I was not bleeding, I wasn’t hurt, no scratches or bumps on my face and I was so shocked and relieved. Then slowly but surely I rolled over on to my back, tried to sit up and struggled because even my hands cannot grip anything because everything is so slippery. And I slowly stood up and continued walking . By the time I crossed the parking lot and reached the sidewalk along 90th Ave I was overjoyed. I moved on to enter the mall through Bourbon Street the restaurant area tried to run and walk and shuffle through the mall to catch my bus.

The next day I woke up in pain and was very scared. My neck hurts! I could not even pinpoint where that came from. Because I arrived home late in the evening I didn’t get a chance to tell anybody what happened the night before. Over breakfast I went into the main floor of our house and talk to my aunt and I told her what’s happening with my neck. She was very worried and for good reason. During the vehicle accident in my childhood where my parents and sister were killed, my brother and I were not left unscathed. My major injuries consisted of a lot of wounds causing a lot of blood loss, and a fractured skull. So my aunt was really worried that it might have something to do with my head again, even if it’s been a couple decades since my injury . Then, I told her about the slip and fall I had the night before. Now she was even more worried! She told me to go to a doctor ASAP, because my slip and fall might have affected my head and she said that it actually might be a concussion. Now here’s the thing, I haven’t heard of the word concussion before so I was even more scared and it sounded really serious.

While enduing my neck that was hurting, I took some painkillers and went to school. For this day my classes were at the University of Alberta. I discovered that there is a medical clinic there that students can go to, which is such a relief. So in between my classes, I went to the Student Union Building on the 2nd floor, and try to see a doctor. I’ve never been to this building before, I’ve never been to this clinic before, so I quite don’t know what to expect.

I didn’t have to wait very long and when I told the doctor what is happening how I’m feeling and what happened that might be related. He asked a few questions, touched my head a couple times, and said he doesn’t seem to see get it was anything really serious. And he introduced a brand new word to me. Whiplash! As it turns out, a whiplash can happen when you experience a strong incident like slipping and falling that can cause muscles or joints in other parts of your body to feel tension and be hurt. I was told to take painkillers, take it easy on myself, and wait it out. If I’m still feeling dizzy (if ever), if my neck or my head or other parts of my body are hurting, then I could go back for further help.

A couple days after, I was chatting with my boyfriend at the time. We’re hanging out in his apartment. He is born and raised in Canada so he has experience with a lot of winters both in Alberta and BC where he was from. I told him what happened, I told him what the doctor said , and he said that makes a lot of sense.

Outdoor sidewalk shovelled clearly of snow during winter.

It wasn’t only until a few years after when I learned about the “Penguin walking technique”. I think I saw something about it on social media. I mentioned it to the new boyfriend I was dating then, the guy who ended up being my husband. He said that makes a lot of sense. I told him about the slip and fall incident and how that’s very scary for me. So now, every time we walk around and there is a potentially slippery and icy area he would remind me of the Penguin walking technique, hold my hand and we’ll walk through together.

I think this is the reason why icy sidewalks and roads caused me a lot of stress and anxiety when walking around in the winter. This is particularly important for me as well, as a person who cannot drive. A couple of years ago, there is now an app launched by the City of Edmonton, where you can report icy sidewalks and piles of snow and windrows. Which in many ways is nice. But I really hope that everybody, from policy makers, to building owners, to parking lot owners, to home owners, to ensure that there is at least one straight path that is wide enough, safe enough, accessible enough for everybody to pass through all seasons long.

Film Review: Canvas

Scene from animated movie Canvas. The main character, an elderly gentleman, sadly looks down as his adult daughter kisses him on the forehead.

Thanks to a recommendation through social media, a few nights ago I watched an animated short film on Neflix called Canvas. The story is about an elderly gentleman who looks like he is of African heritage and is wheelchair bound. He is coping with the death of his wife and as a result, was reluctant to pursue a hobby of his, which is painting, so much so that he avoids the art studio in his house. He is grappling with grief as he watches over his granddaughter who comes to visit and shows interest and skill in art.

The film is short and one that has no dialogue, and I find those types of animated films really captivating. In order for a silent film to be effective, the background music, sound effects, and imagery in every scene needs to provide the right impact. It is the perfect opportunity to apply the principle of ‘a picture can speak a thousand words’.

Screenshot from movie Canvas, elderly grandfather hugging his granddaughter.
Screenshot from movie Canvas, elderly grandfather hugging his granddaughter inside his house after he caught her sneaking in the art studio, a room he hasn’t visited since his wife passed away as it brings pain and grief.

The artistic style of the animations shift when depicting real life scenes in the film into something different when depicting ideas and history. The thoughts of the characters and backstory are showcased using a ‘drawn pencil’ style, while the actual scenes with his granddaughter, the abandoned art studio in his house, or the backyard were the default animated style.

In the beginning, the grandpa would look at his granddaughter with reluctance whenever she would be in the dining room drawing. He would pass by the hallways of his house, and try to avoid looking into a dark part of the hallway that has a clothing rack of his wife’s clothes, that hides a door into an abandoned room that served as an art studio. His grief upon his wife’s death was so intense he couldn’t pick up a paintbrush and canvas, and one time he threw down his easel in anger.

His granddaughter, as expected of curious children, eventually discovers the hidden door and sneaks into the art studio room. He also saw his wife in a dream. That seemed to be the wake up call that the grandfather needed to acknowledge the bittersweet feeling of losing a love one, and to reconsider doing artwork again.

Scene from the movie Canvas. The main character, the grandfather, sits outside in front of an outdoor easel and canvas, holding a paintbrush and looks wistfully, while his granddaughter and daughter looks at him lovingly.
Scene from the movie Canvas. The main character, the grandfather, sits outside in front of an outdoor easel and canvas, holding a paintbrush and looks wistfully, while his granddaughter and daughter looks at him lovingly.

Now that I’ve reached a milestone with my husband, being together (dating and marriage) for over ten years, I wonder about the routines and interests that I have that are strongly linked to my life and interactions with him. He was the one who inspired me to pursue doing arts and crafts for various purposes, from wall decor and paintings to practical items like blankets, pillows, and oven mitts. He loves to call these items in our home “items made with love” and now, he refuses to buy decorations and linens from a store. If we need something at home, like a cooking apron or a lap quilt, he would ask me to make one and I’d happily make them.

If heaven forbid my husband passes away before me, would grief drown me the same way? Would I be reluctant, at least for a while, to make art, to sew, to paint? I go to bed every night literally wearing my husbands’ and my clothes, all woven together in the quilts I made in our master bedroom. If the love of your life is gone, I can imagine how difficult it can be to navigate through seeing household items that are tangible signs of the life built together over a long time. This film, in a short eight minute time period, depicts this is a way that is well done.

This film is a must-watch. I am really grateful for that social media screenshot image that encouraged me to watch it, as it was published on Netflix with no big promotions. The link to the Netflix film is https://www.netflix.com/ca/title/81332733

The Privilege of Work Benefits

By: Giselle General

As the end of the year is approaching, I double-checked my Health Spending Account (HSA) which is part of my benefits as an employee of a nonprofit organization. I’m pleased to see that for this year, I have used up about 75% of the total allocated funds for a wide range of services and products for my health and wellbeing. I bought hand braces for my hands to deal with my carpal tunnel and nerve issues, and for physiotherapy appointments early in the year.

Then when the pandemic happened, I tried to book a few online appointments with my psychologist which worked really well! At the earliest opportunity I booked massage therapy appointments again, almost once a month, because my furniture for my working at home arrangement is okay but not ideal, causing issues with my arms and shoulders from poor posture. Filing a claim to get reimbursed is a smooth and easy process thank goodness.

Living in two different parts of the worlds, for almost half my life in each country, has given me an opportunity to observe the vast differences when it comes for companies compensating and caring for employees.

I grew up in a remote village that was dominated by a single industry, mining precious metals. Workers of the company were given benefits such as a home, with utilities included, free schooling for the kids (elementary and high school) and a medical clinic. These incentives makes sense, because working for the company requires living in that location all the time. This is why when I was younger, thinking of these items as expenses didn’t occur to me. There are also trucks and buses that transport the employees to and from the mines and other facilities and then to waiting sheds that are a few steps away from their home. I knew that these were additional perks in addition to the salary that the workers picked up twice a month.

It wasn’t until my parents passed away (which included my father, the employee of the company) that I realized that there was a specific exchange taking place here. As my grandma and I settled into the store we owned and integrated our living quarters there, I became aware of other bills that people have to pay, such as electricity and water. I was permitted to continue to go to school that was meant for the children of the mining company’s employees. This is because we are still part of the community as an independent business owner, but there were some additional administrative school fees I have to pay.

person's hand catching a medicine pill being poured out of the bottle.

In my recent visits of the Philippines, I’m learning that more of my relatives are working for call centres. It’s a growing industry over there. Many of them were thrilled of what they will be given such as higher-than-average wages, and health benefits to cover hospital expenses and prescriptions. Having a fund to tap on to pay for medication is a huge deal because it’s not common. Regular medication or treatments for illnesses such as hypertension, diabetes, or kidney troubles is financially burdensome.

Another type of employee benefit I observed in the Philippines is recreational trips, and company-wide outings. It seems like the attitude of ‘work hard, play hard’ is commonplace for companies with demanding responsibilities. A cousin who is a year younger than me told me stories of very busy periods at their work, where they practically sleep in the office for a week straight in order to meet a deadline, as in with sleeping mats and dinners provided by the company! I thought to myself, once it hits 10 PM, how productive are their workers really, when having to work for the rest of the night? But it looks like that’s the way it works there. And then, after this grueling time period, a weekend is scheduled for the entire company to have a trip in a resort to have fun in the beach, with picnics, swimming and more. For companies that employ majority younger adults, who are motivated by adventure and have the stamina to pull all-nighters, it seems to be a workable arrangement.

Being an employee here in Canada was a learning curve for me. I admit I was reluctant to maximize my benefits as I don’t completely understand what that entailed. The first time I tried to sort out the details of using my work benefits to go to the dentist, and I realized that I don’t have to pay a single penny after the procedure, was shocking to me. For so long, growing up, I felt fearful to seek dental care, to the point that two of my adult teeth were damaged so badly they have to be extracted and I wear partial dentures ever since. This has motivated me to have a predictable and positive dental health moving forward.

After moving into our house where my husband connected me to the dental clinic he used since he was a child, my dental appointments are regular. One year I had to have a major procedure, taking all four of my wisdom teeth, with my work benefits and my husband’s benefits, I didn’t have to pay a cent for the procedure and the prescription painkillers. It’s incredible!

Retirement contributions was another learning curve for me too. I remember being told that after passing my probation period that my paycheque is going to have another rows of numbers in the document, explaining the amount that will be docked out of my pay for RRSP contributions and how much my employer is adding as well. I remember in the personal finance forums online that this is a common topic when it comes to employee benefits.

Closeup of a woman's face and shoulders, while lying on a massage bed getting a shoulder massage.

Finally, I gradually got into using benefits for paramedical procedures. The first time I went to therapy for my mental health, it was free of charge because I obtained services from an nonprofit specifically helping people like me – sexual assault survivors. At first, there was only insurance company we use to claim expenses for these procedures, until it was separated and we had a Health Spending Account, which covers expenses for a wide range of things such as physiotherapy, massage, psychologist, and a lot more.

Coordinating benefits packages and coverage between my husband’s and mine took a bit of initial work but now it’s very seamless. I felt really good about being able to partially pay for my husband’s eyeglasses, as he needed a prescription starting last year. As a couple we now tap into each other’s benefit packages when we officially became common-law a few years ago.

With all the current conversation due to the current pandemic, these conversations are at the forefront of many working people. One’s paycheck usually goes to major expenses and if there are any benefits it helps ease the financial burden on some of those purchases that meaningful but never prioritized.

It goes without saying that I feel fortunate to still be employed at this time, and even more blessed and priviledge to not only benefit from these work benefits, but to also acknowledge the wide range of options that are out there.