Tag: reflection

Recovering Political Candidate: What I wish I Knew

Posted in Edmonton, lifestyle, Politics, Social Issues, UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

By: Giselle General

Sometime in December 2023, I was contacted by a researcher who is working on a paper asking for the financial barriers faced by women running for public office. Did she ever find the right person willing to talk and vent about this very topic! I was connected to her through a national organization that aims to encourage women to run for public office.

I shared what I knew and gave so much more information that the questions she outlined in her 3-page questionnaire. I truly hoped I didn’t sound too grouchy when I explained all the potential barriers, both ones I experienced personally and broader patterns I’ve observed.

Despite the fact that my candidacy was coming up to three years ago, I remember many things that I wished were more clear during the campaign workshops and campaign toolkits that I accessed between 2017 – 2021.

So here is a short list of what I wish I knew.

  • About the “social etiquette” in Canada, Alberta, and Edmonton when it comes to door-knocking. I didn’t feel confident enough to reassure volunteers on how to handle different types of situations such as homes having no mailboxes, the “no soliciting” signs, entering gates and how long to wait at the doors.
  • How to handle conversations with one’s employer on handling things such as time off, salary and using vacation days and reputation management for the workplace. I think I handled it okay, but if I had more information I would have been less terrified.
  • The range of options on how to handle the election campaign with family members.
  • Exercise routines to help manage pain and soreness from walking, standing a long time, using mobility aids (like my walking cane) for a long time, hand care (from knocking on all the doors), and more.
  • Personal finance budgeting once the motivation to run is there. This includes saving for money for taking time off from work to do campaigning full time, money to initially fund election expenses, budgeting some extras that may be needed such as replacement shoes, therapy appointments, pens, umbrellas, or takeout food.
  • Options for campaign finances, as in ideas of what a low-budget, medium-budget, and a high-budget campaign can potentially look like, as it took me too long to decide whether I should get one digital billboard or one bus bench.
  • Tips and tricks to coordinate with landlords to connect with apartment residents, as this process also took a lot of time coordinating while being afraid I might be somehow breaking some election rule that I was never aware of.

I will likely talk about this more in future posts. In the meantime, I eagerly look forward to the research publication talking about this topic.

Everyday people that wanted to participate in the political discourse in this very important way should feel confident in their ability to do a decent job. They should not feel demoralized by obstacles that seem systemic in nature.

To conclude, here’s the copy of the post I wrote for the Alberta Filipino Journal back in 2021 during the beginning of the actual campaign.

General Point of View: Trailblazing and Smashing Ceilings – The Journey of a First-Time Elections Candidate

By: Giselle General, April 2021

This election candidacy is a journey five years in the making.  Here is a reflection on my experiences as of this date as someone running for the first time.

A main challenge is informing people on different topics. There are many issues that affect our daily lives, and it can be difficult to remember which level of government is responsible. On top of that, there are issues that are a shared responsibility between the municipal, provincial and federal government. So it is important for me, my campaign team, and other candidates to be informed and patient when discussing with others.

The electoral district boundaries not only changed in composition, but also the names have changed. They are changed from numbers to Indigenous names. I think the names are beautiful and meaningful, but many are frustrated and unwilling to learn. I can personally attest that all it takes is practice, just like learning Asian geography back in high school. After a few rounds of practice, I can confidently say without missing a beat that “I am running for city councillor for West Edmonton, the ward of sipiwiyiniwak!” Those in ward Dene and O-day’min will have an easier time, while those in ward Ipiihkoohkanipiaohtsi would need to practice a few more times.  

I found out that apartments and condo buildings are usually ignored by campaign teams. I found this shocking and unacceptable! Because most apartment buildings are rentals, this means that many people who are not homeowners and from lower economic background are not given the same opportunity by election candidates to share their thoughts about political matters. No wonder the voter turnout in municipal elections is only 30%. Like a spark that ignited in me, I felt a fierce sense of determination to go against the tide and find ways to connect with people living in higher-density places. I hope that landlords and building managers would cooperate with my campaign team so we can engage with residents effectively and safely.  

A harsh and true advice I received was “you need a lot of money”. And I don’t have a lot. I feel motivated to find creative ways to compensate for the shortage of money, and fun ways to raise money and support. From virtual dance-a-thons as a fundraiser, using social media for marketing instead of spending money on billboards, and asking volunteers to drop off brochures instead of paying Canada post thousands of dollars, the ideas seem to be endless. Necessity is the mother of invention as they say, and I’m excited to find innovative ways to connect with potential voters and supporters. I hope that I get hundreds of volunteers from all walks of life, and that even those who cannot vote yet, the newcomers and under 18 years old, feel inclined to join the campaign team as well.  

The election day is in October, and given how time feels like it’s slipping through our fingers, it will be here before we even realize it. All the spare time I have, between breakfast and starting work, between dinner and bedtime, between laundry and cooking on the weekends, are occupied by the seemingly endless tasks to gain more resources, to recruiting volunteers, to ensuring we consult with people with different perspective. Door-knocking officially starts in May and I’m eagerly looking at the calendar counting down the time.  

I am excited to be transformed by this experience. I suppose, turning 30 years old this year also highlights the significance of this adventure. I’d love to win of course, but it’s more that that. My hope is that I am just one of the many people from under-represented backgrounds, of the women, the young adults, the migrants and the Filipinos who would take the leap and throw their name in an election race. I hope that my experience can serve as inspiration and a resource guide in navigating an election candidacy that appropriately considers the complications that arise from our lived experiences. If I don’t end up being that trailblazer, I hope that someone else does not too long after I run.  

When Community Service and Self Care Goals Conflict

Posted in Edmonton, lifestyle, Local Establishments, Personal, Politics, Social Issues, UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Giselle wearing a stylish safety glasses, KN95 mask and a volunteer Tshirt

By: Giselle General

Last fall, I had an an eye-opening moment as I went about doing my volunteer activities. During the third weekend of September 2023, I had two activities back-to-back, both outdoors. From morning until early afternoon, I was in my neighbourhood park helping with an annual gathering that includes serving lunch, having activities for kids and families to enjoy, and for residents to apply for their membership with our organization. Shortly after, I went to an Philippine arts event at an outdoor park in downtown Edmonton.

When the day began, I checked the air quality index and it is a 4. Not yet a concern which is great. But as we approached the lunch hour, my eyes started to feel irritated so I wore my glasses. It’s not the type that corrects your vision, but a cuter version of safety glasses I got a few years ago. Turns out, my eyes get irritated by the wildfire smoke, more easily that the average person.

It was 3 PM when I rushed to the arts event, where I kept my glasses but didn’t wear an N95 mask. That was my mistake. Although I must say that communicating and connecting with my fellow writers in our booth was so much more efficient without the mask. Also, since we were outdoors, I figured the COVID risk would be minimal.

Unfortunately on my bus ride home, as I sat on my seat resting my legs from walking and standing all day, that’s where it hit me. When taking transit I still wear a mask because I definitely don’t want to catch any of the respiratory viruses spreading around. As I sat patiently waiting for the bus to reach the west side of the city, I checked the air quality index app again. It went up to 8 – high risk! No wonder my eyes were irritated for the afternoon. As soon as I arrived home, I plopped on the couch while struggling to answer my husband’s question about what we plan to have for dinner. After dinner, my chest started to hurt, and I have to make an effort to breath in for the rest of the night.

I had plans to attend other neighbourhood events the next day, but when I looked out the window and saw the familiar orange haze in the sky I knew it’s a bust. The air quality index app showed a rating of 8 in the morning which went up to 10+ in the afternoon. I have to stay in.

This is just frustrating. I very much hate the fact that my own body seems to now get in the way of my volunteer activities. I also know that since COVID precautions are virtually nonexistent in public spaces, the burden on individuals to protect themselves is just more significant. The worst part is, event individual precautions are less effective especially if let’s say, you are one one of the 100+ people in an indoor hall during a community engagement event. While on one hand, I know that my assistance and contributions will be very helpful during the said event or activity, none of the organizers, fellow volunteers, or attendees would step in to help me if I get permanent harm from attending.

Perhaps that is part of the reason why that even more so the past few months, I make sure that majority of my volunteer activities can be done from home. Writing two informative articles for the monthly ethnic paper for the Filipino community in Edmonton continue to be rewarding. Over winter and until now, I started to do volunteer sewing tasks, upcycling old merchandise from my husband’s running group and turning them into personalized outfits. The documentary and book projects are also tasks that hopefully will make a positive impact in the future and can be done without risk of being exposed to smoke, fumes, viruses, hostile weather or all of the above.

There’s really no solid takeaway message I can pin down. During my election campaign a few years ago, I made decisions that I know prioritize my wellbeing and my life over potentially winning over votes. “My goal is to come home alive” and “if I’m sick, severely injured, or dead, then I won’t be able to help” are my personal constant reminders when I feel guilty about missing community events or volunteering opportunities.

In the new year, I tried to nudge more of my free time towards improving my personal health. Weekends offer what seems to be an unlimited opportunities to get involved and volunteer, whether it is events, workshops, rallies, and more. However, given that my husband goes out for a run with his running group in the afternoons (in the winter), I discovered that it is best to try a fitness related activity that I can try to stick to on a weekly basis. So for that past three months, that has been swimming for about 45 minutes at the local YMCA.

Giselle wearing a swimsuit getting ready for a swim.

This weekly swim routine has paid off really well in just a few weeks. It’s hugely help reduce my shoulder, neck, and back pain from doing office work full time. Swimming laps and treading water is definitely good cardio without aggressively hurting my joints. And slowly, as I gain confidence in learning how to tread in deep water, I also manage my fear while celebrating my incremental improvements.

This tradeoff has been worth it for now. My community service time and activities are sprinkled over week nights, lunch breaks and weekends, so I figured carving out a premium time for my self is the right call for now. I do dread the upcoming summer though with the greater likelihood of forest fires and smoke risk. Maybe volunteering for public and indoor activities is the approach moving forward.

Memoir Writing Reflections 7: The Boss of My Book

Posted in Edmonton, lifestyle, Personal, UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

By: Giselle General

I can hardly believe it but the time has come. It is manuscript feedback and editing time – first round, that is. Just around the last week of September I finally received the Editorial Letter from the Developmental Editor. I received a 19-page document and I couldn’t help but chuckle. It was more like a report than a letter, maybe even a little book.

My goodness is it a lot! In a good way. The letter organized the feedback in categories, and under each, there were several examples from the manuscript where these problems have come up repeatedly. In addition, in the actual copy of the manuscript she added some recommended edits (through the Tracked Changes feature) as well as comments on actual paragraphs. There were many of these throughout the 150-page, 85,000-word document.

With this, I learned that the timeline I submitted for the editing process might not be as realistic as I would have liked. Perhaps, if all I’m doing is creative work full time with volunteering at nights and weekends, maybe it would be achievable. But it’s different now. I have a separate full time day job that involved writing, coordinating and some creative work. Then all the volunteer commitments involve communicating, coordinating and some creative work. As much as I wish I have unlimited energy, alas I am only human. Working on the manuscript is set aside for the weekends.

When I first read the document and the email, I was anxious on what I was supposed to do with the feedback. There was one question in my mind that worried me the most. And I wanted to share that part of the email exchange here:

Hi Justine,

I have a follow-up question regarding the potential next steps after a writer receives the feedback on a developmental edit. I guess I’m struggling a bit with the Filipino tendency to be “always obedient” and “follow everything that is told by a person of authority and expertise”, combined a tendency to be a people-pleaser. 

If feels kind of silly to ask but I’d appreciate some clarity. I know that in your email and letter it says that your comments are “recommendations”. But as far as me as a writer, what happens next? Is this kind of a like a thesis document where I send you additional versions and that you look at it again until you approve the version and are satisfied with the edits? Or do I basically have free reign as far as which suggestions to apply or reject? If for instance I make significant edits to the manuscript and would like another comprehensive review, that is a separate and independent agreement for another developmental edits, is that correct? 

Hi Giselle,

I just opened up editor access on that line edit of your manuscript. Let me know if you’re still having issues opening it up and I’ll try and turn it into a Word doc.

Now for your question – not silly at all!  You have free reign at this point to apply or reject any/all my recommendations. It’s completely up to you as a writer! I don’t need to “approve” your manuscript for you to move on – that’s for you to decide 🙂 

Email exchange between Giselle and Justine from Living Hyphen, October 2023

Reading the email response was a huge sigh of relief.

When I mentioned this to my husband, he told me with such conviction, “You are boss of your own book.” The words on your book will be written the way that works best for you.”

This way of thinking is so new to me. I’ve always have the mindset that experts or authority figures have greater knowledge and expertise than me, so I must follow all their advice. But as I go through the recommended edits of not just the memoir, but for the other creative projects I’m doing, there had been times when I read the comments and think “that suggestion doesn’t make complete sense, but I can see why they suggested it. I don’t think I’ll do it 100% but will do something else that will resolve the issue that was flagged.”

For the Developmental Editor feedback, I actually had to review my draft manuscript backwards, from the last chapter to the first.

Writing and then editing a book is such a long process. From the various writing groups I joined, some people take weeks, months, or even multiple years to write and edit their draft. The last thing I wanted is for this project to get lost in the fast pace shuffle of life. Since I’m the type of person who needs a target end goal to stay motivated, I’ve set mid-December as my deadline to work on the developmental edits. That’s three months of incrementally working over the weekends, a few chapters at a time.

If all goes well, my Christmas gift to myself is the peace of mind from sending off the updated draft to the next person who will review it, the Line Editor. A line editor works line-by-line, tightening up sentence structure so the language is sharp and clear. I’m excited and nervous about this. I hope that I caught all the comma splice statements that seem to be a bad habit of mine. But if there are a few more, that the Line Editor can make them better.

Memoir Writing Reflections #6: The Bucket Analogy

Posted in Edmonton, lifestyle, Personal, UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

by: Giselle General

Through social media posts, blogs on this site, and a few local media interviews, I’ve been sharing my journey in writing this memoir. The more experiences and milestones get documented, the more reassured about doing it in the first place. Not only does it help me have a point-in-time memory captured of the experience, sharing it seem to reach out those who are thinking of doing some kind of creative work as well.

I’m feeling a bit antsy since the developmental editor is working on the manuscript and I have about two more months to go before I get to see the feedback and dive in to make changes. A few times actually, I noticed some comments pop up on the Google doc and I immediately archived those email notifications, not wanting to see them too early.

Just recently, a friend who also lives here in Edmonton reached out to me to ask for advice on writing the memoir. This person is quite active on social media sharing her takes on social issues and sharing some of her personal life. If she wanted to, she has a lot to tell that would be a good fit for a memoir. I got the request through a private message on Twitter, then I set up an invite to do an online meeting.

I told her that the cliché advice of having an outline made sense to me, but instead of making a spreadsheet, a document or to-do list, I treated one chapter as one blank word document. The file name of the document is the rough idea of what the chapter would be about. The file name had a number in the beginning so when I click the button to sort the files, they will be chronological. When I then feel inspired to write about that chapter or topic, I have a space ready to go and write.

This enabled me to bounce around the timeline of my book. When I’m in the mood to write something really heavy and intense, like the events in March or May 2007, I can do that. When I’m emotionally drained and wanted to write about a more lighthearted chapter of events sometime in summer 2003, I can work on that too.

The analogy I used was buckets. I got a bunch of buckets, labelled them, and eventually these empty buckets got filled little by little until I was done.

But then I realized that her situation is not the same as me when I started. She is not starting from scratch, but rather, she already has a draft of 30,000 words. It’s milestone I personally reached a month after I started writing. I’m glad she’s has a good sized manuscript, and she shared about being overwhelmed of the documents. That makes sense.

Using the same analogy of the buckets, I told her “You have a big bucket of words already! Splitting the content into small buckets, where a few paragraphs focus on one experience story, theme, can be a way to manage it.”

My chapters varied in length. On average they are two pages long, with the 12 point font, single space format. Some are slightly shorter, I have about five that are outliers, that are 5 pages or more.

When I gave the advice to this friend, I suggested to read through from the top for a few pages. Once there seemed to be a natural pause, whether a small story ended or any reflections concluded for that particular topic, take that entire section and separate it as its own chapter. Then there’s Chapter 1. Move on and take a few paragraphs or pages, there’s Chapter 2. A small bucket of content being scooped out of the big hulking container of words.

Funny enough, when I submitted the manuscript to the developmental editor I actually have to combine all 43 chapters into a single document. The opposite process, pouring them all into one big bucket. It was easier and more efficient than I realize. As I copied and pasted each chapter in order, I made sure that the table of contents are set up properly and link to the right chapters. Scrolling a big document and having to begin from the top would be quite annoying I can imagine.

It was a good way to be a bit more productive while trying to wait paitently for the edits. Just over a month left!

Event Review: Writers Guild of Alberta “Origins” Conference

Posted in Edmonton, lifestyle, Reviews, Social Issues, UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

By: Giselle General

This past weekend, from June 2 – 4, 2023 I had the great fortune of attending the weekend-long annual conference organized by the Writers Guild of Alberta. They titled their conference this year “Origins: A Return to Networking, Publishing, Genre and Craft.” It’s a hybrid conference, with the in-person location at Fort Calgary and the keynotes and focus workshops available to attend online.

Frankly when I first heard of the conference through the e-newsletter from Writers Guild of Alberta, I was already checking my budget. I started a new job recently so my bank account is not draining anymore and I had full intention of finding a way to pay for it. Then, good news came. As I was a mentee of the Horizon Writers Circle this year, the conference was covered for free. There was even a travel allowance! This prompted a conversation among my fellow mentees to travel together from Edmonton to Calgary.

I agonized for a while on how to attend for two main reasons. I’m learning to be more kind to myself and be more conscious of my precious and limited energy for socializing. I haven’t attended a multi-day conference since November 2018 and I found it exhausting. If I wanted to focus on learning, I need to protect my capacity.

I’ve also felt reluctant to probe and ask questions related to COVID precautions and limiting viral transmission. I don’t feel comfortable attending large gatherings that can be a superspreader event. What’s the point of learning about improving my writing craft, if I die or get permanently debilitated by long COVID?

After some deliberation I decided to join the event virtually. As I read the details in the registration I felt hopeful that the virtual components were planned and executed seamlessly. As the conference day approached, I received the instructions on travel, accommodations, and online links. I was amazed by how the online component felt naturally included, and not something that was thrown together last minute. This gave the impression that the organizers have full intention for the event to be inclusive, compassionate, flexible, accommodating, which is what I believe the artistic and literary world is supposed to be.

How was Friday?

I rushed to finish dinner and run the dishwasher before plugging my headphones and connecting online. I then discovered that the opening keynote speaker is sick, and at the last minute, is joining online from their home in Edmonton. So technically speaking, I’m geographically closer to her. Her manner of describing how humans use language as a means to make change was just so awe-inspiring to me.

I knew that those who attended in-person had an opening networking event and a casual get-together after the keynote. As my online meeting linked closed, I happily went on to do chores to ensure my weekend is as cleared as possible.

How was Saturday?

Turns out, the morning keynote speaker had a travel-related hiccup and didn’t make it to Calgary. I’m super duper grateful to the power of the internet, giving him a way to do a virtual presentation. It was a compelling keynote that reminded me to continue learning about Canadian history that was not taught in my newcomer orientation and citizenship booklets, to find them in literature that is being produced these days. For Indigenous writers, it is a way to control the narrative of their lives and experiences withing the wider Canadian society and story. For recent immigrant and settlers like me, there’s many ways to learn and enrich our understanding of this place where we live.

It was my first time participating in a panel workshop with writing exercises for both attendees in-person and virtual. The last time I attended a writing workshop with writing prompts (as in, you get five minutes to write answering the question the facilitator gave) was at Pinoys on Parliament conference last year, but all of us are attending virtually so there’s lesser technical hiccups. This is also my first interactive workshop related to memoir.

“Do what’s right for you, for this project, at this time.” I appreciate the compassion, the permission, and flexibility when it comes to processes and decisions. The reminder of the fundamentals that are sometimes forgotten was very valuable. As always, there’s the “good problem” of having too many good choices of panels to attend. When I was choosing which to attend, I read all the details to my husband who does not do artistic of literary work. His perspective helped me narrow it down to the one that makes most practical sense. The fact that we can watch the recordings afterwards is also very reassuring.

I’ve organized events and conferences myself, so I have full appreciation of what happens behind the scenes. It was incredible to see the resources adjustments to mitigate the tech issues. Really incredible and appreciated.

How was Sunday?

Our keynote for Sunday joined us virtually from overseas, all the way from Greece. It was such a delightful and insightful Q and A about their approach across different projects and genres. There’s great comfort in hearing a successful writer acknowledging that certain processes related to writing are still difficult. For an outdoor hotel in Europe and only with one single internet interruption, I’m overjoyed that the setup of the conference allowed her to share her time with all of us.

As someone who belongs to many nonprofit boards, I appreciate the value of the seemingly boring but very important activity during an Annual General Meeting. I’d say it’s the most engaging one I’ve attended in a long time, particularly on the elections part. I’m glad that the Writers Guild of Alberta will have a full board of directors for the upcoming year, and that they are working on ensuring their committees are able to help with particular goals, such as membership engagement, diversity and inclusion, and youth supports.

The afternoon panel I would say is the most practical and helpful for me in my personal writer’s journey. The Q and A between publishers and agents addressed many questions from the in-person and virtual audience with tangible examples whenever they could, and saying frankly “I don’t know” and “it depends” at other times. My notebook is filled with notes on what I can work on in the next few months as I set up my schedule with editors and publishing one day.

Takeways

I’ve helped organized many events and conferences in the past, and have attended many events and conferences before COVID and in recent years. I am very aware of the additional time, coordination, cost, and sometimes, stress that comes from organizing events in a hybrid fashion. I’m immensely grateful that they did so. It meant that three of the major speakers were still able to share their wisdom despite unexpected cancellations or other plans that resulted in scheduling conflicts. It helped me focus on my primary objective for this conference, which is to learn and preserve my energy accordingly – and also preserve my limited vacation time and money. Alberta is a massive province and it’s difficult to expect rural Albertans writers to be able to travel all the way to a major city, or from one major city to another. It’s a truly tangible way to showcase the commitment to diversity and inclusion.

My two final takeways with my ongoing literary journey that I hope are action-oriented are these:

First, joining a literary-oriented organization and paying the nominal membership fee is very much worth it. Just starting with one is enough. In my case it was through the Writers Guild of Alberta. This one membership is what helped me pace myself in gradually expanding my literary community, where I eventually felt convinced that despite the seemingly grandiose image that come up with the word “guild”, that perhaps I belong here too.

Second, especially for people like me who don’t have a career in literature, to carve some time for a literary or artistic program or event. There’s no need to pressure one’s self to spend a lot of money or fill every single evening or weekend. A small local event once a month, one multiple-month flexible program per year, once conference in the spring and one in the fall. All these add up after a while.

This event has been such a gift. It’s a comment that came up in the comments during the virtual meetings. Simple and the most accurate way to describe it. Huge huge thank you to the organizers, sponsors, staff and volunteers for making it a success.

Memoir Writing Reflections #5: Marinating Time is Over

Posted in Edmonton, Family, lifestyle, Personal, Reviews, UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

By: Giselle General

After I finished the first round of drafting, I made the deliberate choice to not do revisions on my memoir manuscript since mid-January. Aside from reading the chapters for the reading event in March and organizing sample chapters for funding applications, I haven’t seen all of the other ones.

I don’t know why I chose a food-related analogy, but I thought letting the documents “marinate” for a few months is a good idea. My mentor author agreed. It seems like many other writers have done the same.

In those months I read two memoirs that have drastically different formats, which is equal parts refreshing and confusing. I suppose there is no truly one-size-fits-all approach.

I did my best to ensure my creative mind is not stagnant. I continue to write for the Alberta Filipino Journal, and some of my recent assignments were actually more challenging as they are more like articles or event summaries. Now that the weather is nicer I’ve also done some artwork again. And I try to write for this blog once a month. Heck, I even made a couple of submissions for a literary magazine. I got rejections both times.

Since I like scheduling and organizing, I’ve blocked a few hours on Sundays to start doing this again and actually booked it in my calendar like an event or appointment. I hope that the time I allocated is well-paced enough for the next two months, until I hear back from the different arts foundations where I submitted funding applications. I’m so very much looking forward to those. I’m excited to have professional editors look at the manuscript so they can chip away at all the awkward and ineffective bits and forge the final piece.

I organized my folders somehow like a factory production, where I have different containers (digital folders) to store various versions until it reaches the final version.

A computer screen showing several folders for a draft book. Each folder is for a different version of the draft.

What happened over the first four Sundays the self-revision time is scheduled in my calendar? I ignored them.

For the first two times, I don’t have any good excuse other than procrastination. Given I volunteer a lot in the city and I’m getting a lot of social media inspiration to deep clean my house, I have lots of alternative activities to do instead of reading through my files.

The third Sunday I have an actual legitimate excuse. My grandmother died and I had to focus on making sure I can communicate with everyone in the Philippines given that their time zone is 14 hours ahead. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings I’m still trying to unpack. On top of that, this particular grandmother, my mother’s mother, is an integral part of my childhood years covered in the memoir.

Now it’s the fourth Sunday of my so-called new Sunday routine to self-revise. I have so many volunteer tasks that I’m falling behind and I’m likely going to prioritize that.

In terms of the actual content I will likely not change anything since it is from the perspective of my childhood self. But my present-day self though, I’m just getting hit with more realizations and recently discovered family history that puts people’s behaviors into context. More nuance, less answers.

I even have other stories I wanted to incorporate somehow. Thankfully through the resources and advice I received I know I have a lot of options. I can write a whole chapter focusing on a experience. But it can also be as powerful as a paragraph, a sentence, or a phrase. It can be outlined as a story as it unfolds and experienced in real time, as an internal monologue, or a recent fleeting memory that can still be from the perspective of the child. This particular story I believe is very important and would enrich the reader’s experience of witnessing this orphaned girl trying to navigate a new reality.

This week I also submitted my report to the arts foundation that gave me the money, the grant, late last year. I’m supposed to report and show how I achieved my goals that I set out in that particular funding application. That was easy for me since the proof is very clear.

Now that grandma is buried and it’s my birthday month I really have to push forward with the self-revisions. That is, if my own existential crisis or health issues don’t get in the way.

Memoir Writing Reflections #4: Beta Reading is Remarkable

Posted in Edmonton, lifestyle, Personal, Reviews, UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Giselle in her home office sitting by her computer desk.

By: Giselle General

“Writing is a solitary activity, and it is so important to build your community.”

I understand that this is a reason why there are many activities, events and gatherings of various forms that are organized to give artists and writers a chance to get together. From workshops that help people learn specific skills, networking, showcasing one’s work, or even a working-buddy setup to prevent procrastination, there’s immense value in having a living, breathing, human being beside you.

The tricky part is that I personally need to limit my in-person community activities for two reasons. The first reason is I’m an introvert so these activities are meaningful but draining at the same time. The second reason is I am still more COVID-cautious compared to the average person. I had it once and would do everything I can to not get it again or spread it to someone else. Sadly, in most gatherings, hardly anyone wears masks anymore.

To mitigate these risks but also widen my writing community, I did a simple Facebook group search for writers and memoirists and joined three of them. Not too many though, so my feed won’t get dominated by posts from these groups. A lot of the time, I see people asking for advice on a wide range of topics: from grammar, editing, publishing, finding motivation, and many others. Reading these posts were so helpful. Also, I know that by commenting to give advice, or event choosing an emoji to express congratulations on someone’s success, that I’m contributing positively in a small way.

Several posts came to my attention about people asking for a beta reader, whether on how to get one, or asking people to be one.

In simple terms, a beta reader is someone who reads an unpublished work as a test. The writer, or someone else who is organizing the process, will give copies of the manuscript and ask broad questions about the beta reader’s experience reading. I wasn’t asked to analyze the chapters, check for grammar or tone or anything like that. If I boil down the questions I got after reading the book it comes down to “do I like reading it?”

Back in January, I saw a post from a writer asking for volunteer beta readers for their memoir. I just finished the entire first draft of my own manuscript and I decided to leave it alone for a few months. With the extra time I have, I agreed to be a beta reader for a person I’ve never met from the US. We messaged each other a bit on Facebook messenger, exchanged emails and that’s where it began.

I received the first third of the manuscript. I decided to make the experience as close to reading a book as possible. While I decided not to print, I changed the preview mode on Microsoft Word so it looks like a two-paged book or an e-book. I went through the chapters and answered her questions.

Since the questions are focused on impressions and enjoyment, I tried to find a balance between keeping my answers simple and giving some details on what I find vague or confusing that can impact a reader’s experience.

I offered to also be a beta reader for the rest of her manuscript when it is ready. She was happy to have someone who is from a different demographic from her (a younger adult woman from a different country).

Two months after, I got two files, the second and last third of her manuscript. She sent the same questions to gauge my impressions on the content as a reader. For some of the questions I had the same answer; for others, I provided more information and said that my answers from reading the first section apply.

I really enjoyed the experience. It’s an opportunity to see another person’s work in progress and their style in narrating a deeply personal part of their lives. I admire her for making the request on that writer’s group, as I imagine it can be daunting to show something vulnerable and not yet a fully published written work.

Will I do it again? Yes, absolutely! Even if it is a new way of procrastinating, it’s still a more productive way than most.

Memoir Writing Reflections #3: A Mic and A Stage

Posted in Edmonton, lifestyle, Local Establishments, Personal, Social Issues, UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

By:Giselle General

The largest, most intimidating, and important activity of the six-month mentorship is showcasing a sample of the work produced during that time. Since I had a very specific goal, a first draft of the manuscript for the memoir, showing a sample of this is not going to be a problem.

Speaking in front of a crowd is also not an issue for me. I had my elementary school teachers in Philex Mines, Philippines, to thank for that. Also, since 2017, I have spoken in front of crowds about vulnerable aspects of my life because of all the opportunities during the Canada 150 celebrations. 

In February, I was frantically getting organized for a potential new job which started after Family Day long weekend. At that point, I felt that I finished the last wholesale revision of all the 48 book chapters. I was also preoccupied with another important task that I didn’t envision as a part of my writing journey – funding applications. Sure, I did it in September but I was a bit more relaxed and wasn’t taking it too seriously. But after I actually got funding and I realized the implications of having money to help with artistic projects, I took it a bit more seriously. Doing three comprehensive funding applications asking for a larger sum of money and offering a detailed budget was more administratively taxing than I realized. And another person had an artistic idea and wanted to apply together. So, there are a lot of numbers, deadlines, and persuasive language telling strangers why they should give money for our project. Clicking the Submit button and getting the automated notification that the application was submitted gave me a huge sigh of relief.

In mid-February, I had my final one-on-one meeting with my mentor author. A few weeks before, she shortlisted three chapters that she edited for me to read in front of an audience. I timed all of them and was so happy to find one chapter that fits exactly within the six-minute limit. She gave additional tips that I didn’t even consider, such as taking a couple of seconds to self-promote afterward, and giving an introduction with enough context since I am not reading Chapter 1. 

During the week before the event, I actually spent more time thinking of a meaningful way to show my gratitude to Wendy for all the help and mentorship she did over the past six months. I’m a terrible shopper and even a worse gift-giver since I tend to be anti-consumerist and simple. Then the perfect idea came. Since there is a nearby Filipino convenience store, I thought it would be great for her to experience my story in a deeper way. I purchased several products that I used to sell in the store that I managed as a child, placed them in a paper gift bag, and wrote a note. 

When I arrived, it was one of those instances where I was happy to be wrong. I thought that it would be a quiet, intimate setting with just us mentors and mentees, a dozen people around a slightly larger table sharing our literary work. Turns out, it’s a whole performance, with a mic in front of a stage and a dozen rows of chairs. My quick mental math estimated about 80 people. There were writers and artists I’ve seen in the past who attended. When I told this, my husband had the same assumption and was impressed that my fellow mentees managed to present a piece of our writing in front of a larger crowd. On top of that, it is a very distinguished crowd too, people of the actual literary and artistic community in Edmonton. It’s not just a random group of people from the general public. They have a deeper understanding and appreciation of the artist and writer experience. 

For the lineup of mentees, I was first, where I shared a chapter close to the end, right before I immigrated to Canada. People smiled, giggled, and shared a collective “oh!” and “aw” after I read some of the lines in the chapter. I felt they understood the rollercoaster of emotions that my younger self experienced in the stories and internal thoughts in the chapter. After my piece, I talked about the Edmonton Arts Council and the feature they did about my work, where I heavily mentioned the Horizon Writers Circle program.

Then my fellow mentees read their pieces. Essays, poems, prose, and story chapters that captivated and entertained the audience. After the formal event program concluded, so many people in the audience took the time to speak to us individually and congratulate us for being part of the program and for the work we have shared. The conversations went on for so long, the appetizers ran out by the time I finished chatting with people. 

As a treat, I went to a nearby sushi restaurant and indulged. Being alone at a restaurant table was also the perfect way to wind down after being in such a cozy and crowded room – classic introvert of me. 

It’s remarkable, partially unbelievable, that the six months flew by just like that. At this point, I need to wait patiently to get the funding application results so I can hire professional editors to polish the manuscript. I’m also purposefully not looking at any of the files. I figured that letting it sit for at least three months will give me a fresh perspective when I start my self-revisions again. 

For now, learning a completely different kind of writing is at the forefront. Political news release writing and speechwriting will give me new skills that I think will help me improve my skill set moving forward. 

Memoir Writing Reflections #2: A Thousand Words A Day

Posted in Edmonton, lifestyle, Personal, Reviews, Self-Care, UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

By: Giselle General

Word counts and number of pages heavily influence my approach in writing. From Grade 4 onwards, in multiple classes from Language (English) class and Filipino class, we were required to fill pages upon pages of lined paper with paragraphs on certain topics. Some of them were comically dull, such as “what I did last summer” since for me, 70% of the time I was watching the store. I can cover that in just one paragraph. Since these essay worksheets have a defined number of pages and we students have learned that being suspiciously short lowers your grade, we learned to stretch and beat around the bush. Adding flowery words, extra couple of sentences, and extending simple statements with independent and dependent clauses are skills I’ve mastered well.

The page limit means just that – that there will be a point when I won’t be able to write any further. In my earlier years before I had access to a computer on a regular basis, this can be an agonizing experience. When I feel that I’m gaining momentum with the middle paragraphs of backstory and supporting points and then all of a sudden, I have less than half a page left, needing to hastily switch and make a concluding paragraph. It feels like walking into a hallway and getting smacked in the face with a glass door. It’s painfully abrupt. So, I’ve learned to “budget” the paper space ahead of time. As a university student here in Canada over a decade ago, I’m immensely grateful for Google Docs and Microsoft Word for this very reason. If I went overboard, I could trim the excess before submitting the final version.

For this memoir project, dealing with word counts and spitting out words is a whole new challenge. These days I rarely have limits on how long my write-ups should be, unless I have to submit them externally. As a volunteer columnist for the Alberta Filipino Journal for the past six years my word limit is simple, 650 – 700 words. Pretty easy to follow. When I wrote the historical essays for Edmonton Heritage Council’s historical initiative called Edmonton City As Museum Project, they had a maximum word limit, but writers get paid by the word. I tried my best to ensure I don’t unnecessarily inflate the piece while giving myself the flexibility to expand if needed. In both articles I had about 50 – 100 words left. With the CBC articles, there was also a word limit but the payment is a flat rate. It helped the editor with expanding a little bit more because they want to keep a well-written statement. Only the second piece went over the 600 word count.

Now that I had 40+ chapters to write about. I did some research on the average word count of a chapter for full-length books such as novels. I agonized on how many words I need to pump out in a day. With personal blogs such as the ones over here, there were many moments when I finished a post in a single sitting – usually about 1000 words. For some time, I wondered whether that’s a fluke or normal. This process of writing a lot – a whole lot more than usual – is an experiment on how many sentences I can spit out that are somehow coherent.

One of my husband’s favourite creative celebrities is J. Michael Straczynski, a filmaker who released their memoir/how-to book, Becoming Superman. What a remarkable and heartbreaking story of hardship in his younger years! It was also amazing to see how his artistic career blossomed. His is the first book where I read practical tips on advancing one’s journey as a writer. “Write all the crap out and write all the time, and make sure that you submit before the deadline, because it’s amazing how many assholes don’t” is the essence of his friendly and utilitarian advice. I like it. It resonated with me and boosted my confidence. I’ve always completed my written work on time, sometimes early, so that the editor can have the time and breathing room to look it over before getting bombarded by everyone else’s on-time or almost late submissions.

This time around, I am the rule-maker. And the rules, the constraints, are actually helpful in getting focused. So with each chapter I gave myself a semi-flexible limit: minimum 1000 words that clearly narrate at least three scenes, threads of thought, ideally both. This resulted into chapters that are between two to five pages. When I see a chapter going beyond that, I find a natural spot to split the narrative, which prevented me from feeling guilty that one area looked too long. Instead, by giving myself permission to split the chapters, I managed to add a couple more paragraphs to help make that mini story feel complete.

My author mentor lent me a stack of books to help me learn various techniques about writing. She enthusiastically said over and over that numerous principles used in writing fiction are just as useful in writing creative nonfiction. This was especially useful and motivational for me since I am narrating a story – the story of my childhood as my younger self experienced it. One of the books is On Writing, by novelist Stephen King. Similar to Becoming Superman, it’s a memoir/how-to combination which I liked. Him sharing his schedule with numbers is the most striking piece of advice for me. He said he would write a thousand words a day in the morning, stay consistent, and complete a first draft of a novel in three months as a result. Well, guess who completed a memoir draft in three months – this lady! I was overjoyed when I read this. Will my works be as brilliant as his, who knows? It also didn’t matter too much – he had a lot of freedom and flexibility since he wrote fiction. I know I shouldn’t trap myself into stringent formulas, but a roadmap helps prevent the feeling of spiraling out of control. I also don’t write a thousand words every single day. But if a thousand words in 50 days in under three months is a workable formula for me, I’ll take it!

Memoir Writing Reflections #1: The Brain is a Marvel

Posted in Edmonton, Family History, lifestyle, Local Establishments, Personal, Self-CareTagged , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

by: Giselle General

This year, on top of everything else my husband and I drastically changed, I added one more to the list. I finally started working of my first memoir, my first full-length written work. The initial plan was to publish something right around my 30th birthday last year. That got derailed by two major things: COVID and running for public office during a pandemic.

This is to account my initial reflections on this journey and observing my mind, both how it works when it comes to motivation and getting organized, and from a mental health standpoint as far as memories and triggers.

I had to check my email history and digital calendar to confirm the timeline. When you don’t have a full time job, the pace of time feels so strangely elastic and oddly compact, depending on the time of day. In early September, I took a chance and applied for the Horizon’s Writing Circle, a writer mentorship program. I recall being so nervous outlining my bio as an artist, feeling like a fraud. I suppose I had a few essays and got paid for it. I’ve been blogging for a decade and been an ethnic paper columnist for five years. But will it be enough to deserve undivided attention from someone who actually published multiple books?

I applied for the program in early September and in early October I got the confirmation that I got in the program. How exciting! I arranged a meeting with the author mentor in mid-October. Just like the other mentorship programs I participated in, I had a very clear goal in mind and I needed their advice to make it successful. When I outlined my goal, the summary of the memoir and the tangible deliverable, my mentor was excited. But it didn’t hit home for me until I hear her utter the words “Yes, I’m very positive that by the end of our mentorship period, you will have a first manuscript.” That felt so real, so tangible. It’s remarkable.

This is a precious time and opportunity, I have to everything I can to make the most of it.

This sparked a flurry of motivation in my mind and my heart. I made an outline of all the different chapters and themes of my life using blank MS Word documents. In a few minutes I had 40 blank chapters. Whenever inspiration strikes as the cliche goes, I would open a file and either type the entire story right there, or write short phrases of the smaller stories to write about. As of right now, I’ve been doing this for just two months, and I’m halfway through, over 20 chapters that looked decent enough to be scrutinized. Done is better than perfect, I tell myself over and over. It frankly didn’t feel like much, but when I say to people out loud, their reactions remind me that 20 chapters in less than 60 days is noteworthy.

Some days when I write, my brain somehow forgets to tell my body to breathe. After the keyboard clatters for a few minutes as I tell a heartbreaking experience, I’d suddenly gasp for air. Only then do I clearly look at the words on the screen, and tears would roll down my face. I thought that being triggered would be more melodramatic and fiery than this. I guess I was wrong.

In early December I had a dream that I wasn’t happy about. In my dream, somehow my father became alive in my current life as an adult for just one day. I was frantically giving him a tour around my home and around Edmonton, filling him in on what he missed for the past 23 years. The day doesn’t end, I don’t know what rudely woke me up into reality. I laid in bed, my eyes angrily boring holes in the ceiling as the tears silently fell. I know that this is from my consciously digging up memories and putting them on paper, or in this case, the computer screen.

Damn it, brain! Why do you have to do this to me? This wore me out mentally more than the other times I got emotional while writing. I spent the next week not writing anything new, just updating the grammar of the earlier chapters I wrote.

While dedicating time and energy to write, I had to juggle other priorities as well. There’s truth to the saying looking for a job is a full-time job. Taking the time to diligently search for opportunities that fit my experience level and salary range and writing a thoughtful application, that takes effort and a mental toll. I try to switch it up during weekdays, a few hours on job searching, an hour or two on writing, then some time for chores and volunteering.

This is how I remind myself that being unemployed doesn’t mean I’m useless. That I’m still improving my skills, using the ones I have, and making a positive impact around me in different ways. Sometimes it looks like the homecooked meal I made and a clean kitchen sink. It can look like being present at a board meeting and being efficient in all the items we discussed. It can look like a piece of artwork I finished for the home and two memoir chapters done in a single day.

Activities not related to writing or career help me stay grounded and balanced. My husband actively finds video games that a very beginner-level person like me can handle, and he is very kind and diligent when we do levels together where he had to do about 70% of the work. It’s pretty sweet of him. Whenever he plays video games that he streams to his audience online, I hear him talk about me and share fun updates about ‘the wife’. I sometimes chime in on conversations and his audience seem to enjoy it. Our group of friends have organized a weekly movie night, just like what they did regularly a decade ago. My friend asked for my help with pet-sitting and it’s quite fun being a dog and cat auntie. It’s actually nice having a cat on your lap being cozy while reading one of the books my mentor author lent me about writing techniques.

My suicidal ideation has never left my mind, but I am able to keep it at bay for the most part. It’s not by feeling more optimistic about the world – there’s too much obvious evidence that people and systems are harmful and selfish and problematic. It’s by keeping a little bit of hope that what I do matters to a small extent and it affects people positively, whether it’s just myself, my immediate love ones, or those who gets affected by any of my community service work. And that’s enough for now.