By: Giselle General
In some ways we are unconventional and I love it! My husband likes to tease me about the ways I have showed ‘public affection’, more specifically, broadcasting about our relationship and marriage.
I’d usually respond, “Well, what do you expect when you are married to someone so amazing?”
Around summer 2017, because it was the 150th year anniversary of Canada being founded, there were numerous projects and community activities to participate in. In our former neighbourhood, we applied for grant funding to achieve two goals in one – a community building exercise and a combination of public art with prevention of unwanted graffiti. Over a few weekends, residents had a chance to sign up for a spot, plan their artistic idea, and go to the public sound barrier walls to paint their masterpiece.
During that weekend in June I multitasked, supporting everyone painting by making sure they have enough paint and snacks, while painting my own mural as well. As a result, I made a simple, cutesy painting of him and me, with the phrase “Did You Know You’re My Love”. It was fun and five years later, while some of the paint is fading a bit, it is still in good shape. The best part, even after we moved to a different neighbourhood here on the west end, we can still visit the location by walking. And it’s so much fun dropping by to see our mural, and the dozens of other ones painted during that summer.
While I’m not as frequent and intense as Ned from the Try Guys that I mention my spouse every single moment of every single day, I’d like to think I make up for it in quality. Back in 2019, I was nervous when I applied as a speaker for Edmonton’s Next Gen speaking event called Pecha Kucha Night. My topic can be described as bit too personal and perhaps uncomfortable for a public audience. It’s titled “Dating a Sexual Assault Survivor”. But I felt in my heart, that my husband and everything he did was amazing, particularly when it comes to caring for someone with a lot of traumatic baggage, and there is a lot.
I was so relieved that I got accepted as a speaker. A bonus is that the event took place a month after our wedding, which was in front of the mural I painted a few years back. It was the perfect way to end the speech. When I got to the part where I said “so a few months ago, I proposed to him and he said yes!” and the large screen showed a wedding photo, cheers erupted from the audience. With all that said, the most valuable part for me is sharing my experience and potentially useful advice on how to love, care and be intimate with a sexual assault survivor. I hope that other couples were able to learn something from it.
While sure, we have our artwork in our house and our private diaries over the years, another way our relationship has been documented publicly is through articles, paid freelance articles, where my relationship with him is a major aspect of the topic.
There’s these two ones through CBC, a major broadcasting outlet in Canada:
And there’s this other one from a local project focused on preserving local heritage and stories:
Whenever I write something that will be published in a large platform like this, I strive to be mindful of the content and language. There are a some topics he is sensitive about so I don’t include it at all. The angle always focused on being informative, maybe a bit romantic but not necessarily explicitly sexual, wholesome and inspirational. So far, I am three for three in these articles. For my larger scale writing projects, this is something I will strive to maintain.
The husband accepts the fact that I’m a bit of a public figure in my own way, and I like to do projects and activities that reaches a wide audience sometimes. As a couple, we have embraced and enjoyed avoiding the trap of obligatory gift-giving for every single occasion, which has saved us a lot of stress and money. I’d say that these are more fun and something you cannot buy from a store!