By: Giselle General

Last year on my birthday at the end of May, I did something that I considered an unusual, but valuable, gift to myself. I officially handed my letter of resignation to the job I had for eight years.

Materially, my life is overall comfortable. Also I find shopping for items like clothes, cosmetics, gadgets pretty dreadful. Having to think of gift items for people to get me is the opposite of fun. Thinking of what to buy myself as a treat that need to be bought at a specific time of year is also pretty restrictive.

As my wages grew over the years, both from my employment and the honourariums for some of my volunteering and writing work, I try to be very mindful of lifestyle inflation. I didn’t want to fall into the trap of buying something just because I could. In the occasions where I do splurge, those purchases were made intentionally and with no guilt.

A big theme I’ve seen in how I approach my birthday is about giving myself something special of great non-tangible value. The trip I took in New York City in 2019 is my first overseas solo trip, granting myself the new experience of independence and rare unrestricted indulgence. The boudoir photoshoot I also booked a day before my birthday is to grant myself a new way of reclaiming my body and sense of self, a valuable thing for sexual abuse survivors like me. In 2020, I hired a freelance artist to recreate a piece of artwork I drew in 2013, granting myself a way to preserve precious memories and the enjoyment of collaborating with an artist. The drawing in particular was the memento I made from my first trip to the Philippines after immigrating, taking my Canadian (white) boyfriend in tow. In 2021, my self-gift was as simple as granting myself rest and family time as I started to ramp up my election campaign running for city councillor. Something truly in short supply and so precious for that period of time.

For my birthday last year, the plans to celebrate were straightforward and already confirmed. My brother worked night shift so meeting him separately worked better since typically dinner times happen when he is already on his way to work. The husband’s family will be coming over for a separate dinner in the home we just moved in to a few months prior. They planned to bring black forest cake. Perfect.

The only thing missing is the precious thing for me.

I talked to my husband about the idea throughout the month of May. This was not something taken lightly. The job search process over the past few months were not going so well, and I knew it is because I was not giving it the right energy and focus. Also, in the past, I was unemployed when I applied for that job I truly enjoyed for eight years. It seemed like I can only do one of these two things at a time: work full time or job hunt full time.

On top of this, I realized that I never had a full two-month summer break since before my parents died, which was the summer of 1999. Since 2000, my summer breaks consisted of working for most of it, either working in the store in the mining village in the Philippines, working in retail or placements during my university years, and then as a full-time working professional. As a child, since my birthday was the end of May, just right before the schoolyear begins in the Philippines, my birthday always marks the end of a notable period of time and the beginning of another.

I looked at my bank account repeatedly. I inspected the information in the budgeting software I used since 2017. If I were not to do anything extravagant or ridiculous, I can afford to pay my bills and save for retirement with no interruption, for quite some time.

This is the perfect timing for this reset.

When I woke up on my actual birthday which was a Tuesday, I was a bundle of nerves and certainty. I was working from home that day, in my home office where to my left was a wall of frames, including the employee recognition certificate I received for my years of service. The draft email was already in my inbox. And then I clicked send.

Just a few minutes after, I got a message through our internal chat software. It looked like it came as a surprise. Then emails and video calls took took place, with strategies and decisions to make the most of the one-month resignation notice.

Since we had a hybrid work arrangement still, my office was not as decorated as it was. Packing up any remaining personal items was easy. The last month of work flew by, as I eagerly waited for my last day of work, just right before Canada Day long weekend.

After the long weekend, my relaxed summer break began. Nothing changed in my evenings as I kept all my volunteer commitments. I also wanted to spend the same amount of time with my husband so I kept my sleeping schedule the same. But the time period that is labelled as the typical weekday work hours from 8 AM – 5 PM, were all free and flexible. It felt eerie but not as slow as I expected. Boring and lazy and unstructured was exactly what I’m looking for and what I got. It was quite remarkable.

In the middle and end of the month, when I paid my bills, rent or the automated deduction for my retirement savings got taken out of my bank account, I relished in the feeling that I didn’t have to work during that current week to pay for it. My past self (and of course my husband) helped make this comfortable period of time happen.

When September long weekend arrived as well as back to school for students, I knew this free time was up. It is time to be a responsible adult again and actively work towards finding my next job. I knew it will take months from applications, to interviews, to the offer and a starting date. As fall came and went, the pressure crept up a bit more. Thankfully my husband consistently and patiently put my panicked thoughts into perspective.

In some career-oriented articles, I’ve heard of people talking about the benefit of taking a break, sometimes they call it a sabbatical. The type of break for a working professional where they won’t have to worry about financials, but are able to not work full time to rest or try something different. I didn’t name it that way back in May 2022, but it looks like a two-month sabbatical and life reset is what I have gifted myself. One can argue that it was quite expensive, if not the most expensive gift I have given to myself. My living expenses were $3,500 a month and I didn’t find employment until six months later.

It was wonderful and definitely worth it though. Something that is hard to give or get for someone like me with extreme workaholic tendencies. The gift of rest, of reset, of leisure, of personal flexibility. I hope that I can do it again just a few more times during my prime career working decades.